Lest I Forget.

Core Trust - offers a holistic approach for people with drug, alcohol or other addictions (including to prescribed drugs and for eating disorders) through a structured day programme. Detoxification, rehabilitation, aftercare, and relapse prevention using complimentary therapies, counselling and groupwork: www.coretrust.co.uk

Antidote - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Drug & Alcohol Support - runs a drop-in centre, offering advice and support to lesbians, gay men, bisexual and transgendered people with a drug or alcohol problem. Ear acupuncture available...staffed by lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgendered people: www.thehungerford.org/antidote.asp

Quit - The UK Charity that helps people give up smoking - practical advice on giving up: www.quit.org.uk

Mad Pride - puts on survivors events, gigs, club nights and concerts, publishes writings and books, brings out cassettes and CDs, and runs campaigns. Mad Pride is committed to ending discrimination against psychiatric patients and celebrating mad culture: www.madpride.org.uk

Last night, I had a rough night of restless sleep and nightmarish dreams. I also seem to have caught the latest office cold, from my colleagues.

I am teetering on the edge of a self-inflicted emotional rebellion.

Whilst I do recognise that change is essential. For me, the process of change is much like, constantly ascending an unending and descending escalator, with the sole intention of reaching the unachievable summit. Constant progressive motion is required in order to maintain the same position. While resting for too long, puts one at a great disadvantage.

I know, that I am dragging my feet, and taking too long getting to action. My recognition of the need for me to change is uncomfortable, so I want to relinquish my responsibilities and 'act out'. Wrap myself in the madness, and do something outside of myself, to change the way I feel. I want to throw my dummy out of the pram! Which won't help in the long run.