Yesterday, during the hours of 6pm-9pm, I attended as part of Lambeth's September 2008 Peace Month, a safer Lambeth 'Peace on the streets, putting communities first' event. This was held at Lambeth Town Hall, in the assembly room.
I had a fabulous evening of entertainment and also enjoyed sampling the following menu:
Asia
Five spice stir fry cooked by Adrian
Teriyaki Noodles
Sushi Rolls
Lamb Madras
Pilau Rice
Bhajis and Samosas
Kin chee mix - Vietnam
Pad Thai - cooked in a Wok
Africa
Lamb Apricot Tagine - Morocco
Injera- Ethiopia
Bean Stew - Ethiopia
Berbere Chicken - Ethiopia
Jollof Rice - Nigeria
Americas
Jerk Chicken & Rice and Peas - West Indies
Black Beans and Quinoa - South America
Chilli con Carne - Mexico
Europe
Ratatouille Pasta - Italy
Piri Piri Chicken - Portugal
Pierogi, Swojska, Zurek - Poland
Swedish Meatballs
Mini Toad in the Hole - Great Britain
Desserts from around the world
Portuguese Tarts
Exotic fresh fruit display
Cheesecake
Additional information
Vegetarian food available
Kosher food available
All meat Halal
Non alcoholic soft drinks
Tuesday 30 September 2008
Sunday 28 September 2008
Raising The Issue And Having A Debate.
Kairos in Soho - is promoting the health and well-being of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community: www.kairosinsoho.org.uk
Gay Search Engine - Pinke.biz - is a gay friendly business directory for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. Search topics such as travel, health and wellbeing, advice, weddings, events and much more using our easy search facility: www.pinke.biz
National Black Women's Network - is a non-profit organisation dedicated to raising the status and position of black women in all walks of life. We provide dynamic initiatives, enabling women from diverse backgrounds and occupations to develope strong professional and social contacts; high quality training and education programme; leadership and national recognition. We work to ensure that the contributions and influence of black women are recognised as vital forces within the public and private sector, business, corporate, arts, media and entertainment fields: www.nbwn.org
Perhaps it's just an effect that is manifesting from a previous cause - I don't know. It is also possible that I could be emitting the thoughts and feelings, into the universe. However, within the last seventeen days, I have been experiencing some 'high class' problems with women. Heterosexual women. Three, at the last count. I really am not prepared to dissect and discuss the encounters that I have had, with each of these three women. But, I will say that what seemed initially to be innocuous matters, have escalated beyond my control, and I can no longer stick my head in the sand.
The lastest, and by far most shocking, drama took place only two hours ago. I was accused of phoning a woman's mobile, from a phone box and propositioning her in a sexually explicit manner! I'm not responsible for that phone call. It wasn't me.
This type of revelation is unprecedented. In the past I have had no difficulty expressing amorousness without vulgarity. I am honest about my feelings and I can and do accept the consequences. I didn't come 'Out' as a lesbian to hide my feelings for other women in a closet. But heterosexual women also need to realise that, I do have choices as a lesbian and I don't have to select just ANY woman!
Earlier this month in ' Stepping Outside Comfort Zone', which was posted nine days ago. I mentioned that I was unwilling and unable to conduct non- platonic relationships with other women, due to my four year adoration of one woman, in particular.
Nothing's changed.
Gay Search Engine - Pinke.biz - is a gay friendly business directory for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community. Search topics such as travel, health and wellbeing, advice, weddings, events and much more using our easy search facility: www.pinke.biz
National Black Women's Network - is a non-profit organisation dedicated to raising the status and position of black women in all walks of life. We provide dynamic initiatives, enabling women from diverse backgrounds and occupations to develope strong professional and social contacts; high quality training and education programme; leadership and national recognition. We work to ensure that the contributions and influence of black women are recognised as vital forces within the public and private sector, business, corporate, arts, media and entertainment fields: www.nbwn.org
Perhaps it's just an effect that is manifesting from a previous cause - I don't know. It is also possible that I could be emitting the thoughts and feelings, into the universe. However, within the last seventeen days, I have been experiencing some 'high class' problems with women. Heterosexual women. Three, at the last count. I really am not prepared to dissect and discuss the encounters that I have had, with each of these three women. But, I will say that what seemed initially to be innocuous matters, have escalated beyond my control, and I can no longer stick my head in the sand.
The lastest, and by far most shocking, drama took place only two hours ago. I was accused of phoning a woman's mobile, from a phone box and propositioning her in a sexually explicit manner! I'm not responsible for that phone call. It wasn't me.
This type of revelation is unprecedented. In the past I have had no difficulty expressing amorousness without vulgarity. I am honest about my feelings and I can and do accept the consequences. I didn't come 'Out' as a lesbian to hide my feelings for other women in a closet. But heterosexual women also need to realise that, I do have choices as a lesbian and I don't have to select just ANY woman!
Earlier this month in ' Stepping Outside Comfort Zone', which was posted nine days ago. I mentioned that I was unwilling and unable to conduct non- platonic relationships with other women, due to my four year adoration of one woman, in particular.
Nothing's changed.
Accepting The Privileges Women Bestow.
Women's Therapy Centre - Offers short- long-term individual and group psychoanalytic psychotherapy, plus workshops and self-development courses. Run by wormen for women. Sets out to understand the underlying causes and make sense of a range of difficulties, including eating problems, childhood sexual abuse, self-harm and violent relationships. Information and publications list available. Also offers consultancy and training for professionals: http://www.womenstherapycentre.co.uk/
Women and Girls Network - Offers a telephone helpline, face-to-face counselling, groups and complimentary therapies for women and girls with experience of sexual, physical or emotional violence. Can refer on to specialist services: http://www.wgn.org.uk/
Rights of Women - Free legal advice telephone helpline for women, mainly in the field of family law, including separation, divorce and family breakdown, domestic violence, access/custody disputes, lesbian parenting. General advice in other areas, such as employment, housing rights, debts management, crime and sexual violence: http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/
Threshold Women's Mental Health Infoline - Confidential freephone national information helpline run by women for women. Can provide details of local and national services across the UK. Publishes a series of factsheets for women on mental health issues, provides emotional support for women seeking information: http://www.thresholdwomen.org.uk/
I have booked my place for 7pm on Thursday 19th February 2009, to attend the evening event of '15 Years of DIVA Magazine' http://www.divamag.co.uk/ at The Women's Library http://www.thewomenslibrary.ac.uk/ It has been advertised thus:
To celebrate 15 years of DIVA, Europe's biggest-selling lesbian magazine, this special event explores the role of DIVA magazine and how it has filled a gap in the magazines market. Join Jane Czyzselska and Louise Carolin, the editor and deputy editor of DIVA magazine in conversation with Stella Duffy who will discuss how magazines like DIVA cater for their readers.
Jane Czyzselska has written for DIVA since 1994, and is now Deputy Editor. She writes a weekly column for The London Paper and is a frequent contributor to The Times and The Guardian.
Louise Carolin has written for DIVA since 1994, and joined DIVA in 2001. In the 1980s, she was a member of the collectives which produced the cult lesbian and gay magazines Shocking Pink and Square Peg.
Stella Duffy is a writer and actress, author of State of Happiness and The Room of Lost Things, and has also written articles for Elle and Marie Claire.
Women and Girls Network - Offers a telephone helpline, face-to-face counselling, groups and complimentary therapies for women and girls with experience of sexual, physical or emotional violence. Can refer on to specialist services: http://www.wgn.org.uk/
Rights of Women - Free legal advice telephone helpline for women, mainly in the field of family law, including separation, divorce and family breakdown, domestic violence, access/custody disputes, lesbian parenting. General advice in other areas, such as employment, housing rights, debts management, crime and sexual violence: http://www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/
Threshold Women's Mental Health Infoline - Confidential freephone national information helpline run by women for women. Can provide details of local and national services across the UK. Publishes a series of factsheets for women on mental health issues, provides emotional support for women seeking information: http://www.thresholdwomen.org.uk/
I have booked my place for 7pm on Thursday 19th February 2009, to attend the evening event of '15 Years of DIVA Magazine' http://www.divamag.co.uk/ at The Women's Library http://www.thewomenslibrary.ac.uk/ It has been advertised thus:
To celebrate 15 years of DIVA, Europe's biggest-selling lesbian magazine, this special event explores the role of DIVA magazine and how it has filled a gap in the magazines market. Join Jane Czyzselska and Louise Carolin, the editor and deputy editor of DIVA magazine in conversation with Stella Duffy who will discuss how magazines like DIVA cater for their readers.
Jane Czyzselska has written for DIVA since 1994, and is now Deputy Editor. She writes a weekly column for The London Paper and is a frequent contributor to The Times and The Guardian.
Louise Carolin has written for DIVA since 1994, and joined DIVA in 2001. In the 1980s, she was a member of the collectives which produced the cult lesbian and gay magazines Shocking Pink and Square Peg.
Stella Duffy is a writer and actress, author of State of Happiness and The Room of Lost Things, and has also written articles for Elle and Marie Claire.
Saturday 27 September 2008
We Need 'To Answer That Of God' In Everyone.
The Retreat York - specialist mental health care provider - Mental healthcare, for people, not for profit. The retreat is an independent specialist mental health care provider for people with complex and challenging needs: www.theretreatyork.org.uk
Isabel Clarke - My work spans two areas; psychosis and spirituality, and clinical psychology...: www.isabelclarke.org
Spiritual Crisis Network - www.SpiritualCrisisNetwork.org.uk
Today I was at work.
I spent most of the morning at my computer terminal. I felt complete satisfaction with the work that I had executed.
This afternoon I attended the Friends House, 'Spirituality, Creativity and Mental Illness' talk. I found it interesting and informative.
This evening, I spoke to my son on the phone for fifteen glorious minutes. During the conversation, I told him that I would take him to see the office that I work in next Saturday.
Isabel Clarke - My work spans two areas; psychosis and spirituality, and clinical psychology...: www.isabelclarke.org
Spiritual Crisis Network - www.SpiritualCrisisNetwork.org.uk
Today I was at work.
I spent most of the morning at my computer terminal. I felt complete satisfaction with the work that I had executed.
This afternoon I attended the Friends House, 'Spirituality, Creativity and Mental Illness' talk. I found it interesting and informative.
This evening, I spoke to my son on the phone for fifteen glorious minutes. During the conversation, I told him that I would take him to see the office that I work in next Saturday.
Friday 26 September 2008
Good Company.
Awarding-winning ‘Mad’ author Dolly Sen will give her only book-reading of her smash-hit ‘The World is Full of Laughter’ this year on October 10th 2009 at Streatham Library to celebrate World Mental Health Day. Free entrance.
Free signed copies of the book for every audience member. “This book started out as a possible suicide note and ended up a celebration of life”, writes the author. The result of her work is an outstanding memoir about surviving childhood abuse and severe mental illness in South London that has inspired readers to say the book has positively changed their lives. "Raw, harrowing and compelling. This is a worthy addition to the new genre of mad memoirs."- Robert Dellar, Mad Pride “The frankness and ironic humour kept me turning the pages. This is the book I’ll give to people who want to know what madness is really like.”– Liz Main, Mental Health Today Where: Streatham Library, 63 Streatham High Road, London, SW16 1PLWhen: October 10th 2008 What time: 7pm All the best, Dolly x
Dolly Sen BLOG: http://www.disabilityartsonline.org/site/dolly_sen_blog
http://www.dollysen.com/
http://www.hedfukfilms.co.uk/
http://www.myspace.com/dozzyangel general myspace
http://www.myspace.com/hedfukfilms Watch my films on MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/sugarpsychosis - Hear my music
WRITER: The World is Full of Laughter - ISBN 0954221818
Am I Still Laughing? ISBN 1905610947
http://www.chipmunkapublishing.com
This is fantastic news! And to think, I had the pleasure of speaking to Dolly on the telephone for the first time only yesterday. How amazing!
Free signed copies of the book for every audience member. “This book started out as a possible suicide note and ended up a celebration of life”, writes the author. The result of her work is an outstanding memoir about surviving childhood abuse and severe mental illness in South London that has inspired readers to say the book has positively changed their lives. "Raw, harrowing and compelling. This is a worthy addition to the new genre of mad memoirs."- Robert Dellar, Mad Pride “The frankness and ironic humour kept me turning the pages. This is the book I’ll give to people who want to know what madness is really like.”– Liz Main, Mental Health Today Where: Streatham Library, 63 Streatham High Road, London, SW16 1PLWhen: October 10th 2008 What time: 7pm All the best, Dolly x
Dolly Sen BLOG: http://www.disabilityartsonline.org/site/dolly_sen_blog
http://www.dollysen.com/
http://www.hedfukfilms.co.uk/
http://www.myspace.com/dozzyangel general myspace
http://www.myspace.com/hedfukfilms Watch my films on MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/sugarpsychosis - Hear my music
WRITER: The World is Full of Laughter - ISBN 0954221818
Am I Still Laughing? ISBN 1905610947
http://www.chipmunkapublishing.com
This is fantastic news! And to think, I had the pleasure of speaking to Dolly on the telephone for the first time only yesterday. How amazing!
Thursday 25 September 2008
Degrees Of Achievements.
The Women's Library - Culture centre housing the most extensive collection of women's history in the UK. Runs exhibitions and events in addition to the Reading Room service: www.thewomenslibrary.ac.uk
The British Library - The world's knowledge - We hold over 13 million books, 920,000 journal and newspaper titles, 57 million patents, 3 million sound recordings, and so much more: www.bl.uk
Stonewall Housing - Provides supported housing - advice and advocacy for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities in London: www.stonewallhousing.org
Yesterday I spent the day at the Women's library, with my colleagues. Prior to this, I had not visited the Women's library for a few years. I used to often visit it with my son, when he was younger, and park his push chair in the cloakroom.
From Saturday 4th October 2008, the Reading Room will no longer open on Saturdays, at the Women's Library. This will be reviewed in 2009.
The British Library - The world's knowledge - We hold over 13 million books, 920,000 journal and newspaper titles, 57 million patents, 3 million sound recordings, and so much more: www.bl.uk
Stonewall Housing - Provides supported housing - advice and advocacy for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities in London: www.stonewallhousing.org
Yesterday I spent the day at the Women's library, with my colleagues. Prior to this, I had not visited the Women's library for a few years. I used to often visit it with my son, when he was younger, and park his push chair in the cloakroom.
From Saturday 4th October 2008, the Reading Room will no longer open on Saturdays, at the Women's Library. This will be reviewed in 2009.
Wednesday 24 September 2008
Real About The World I Live In.
Metro Centre - Support and information for lesbians, gay men and bisexuals. Mental health services including a drop-in (ring for details) and long-term and short-term counselling. Sexual health outreach services providing information, supplies of condoms (including by post), lube, etc. Youth services include one to one support on suicide, self harm, drug and alcohol issues. Also offers family and therapy support. Training and support for organisations on issues that effect lesbians, gay men and bisexual people. Offers volunteering opportunities: www.themetro.dircon.co.uk
Survivors Poetry - is a national organisation promoting poetry by survivors of mental distress, through workshops, performances, readings and publications. Supports around 30 affiliated writing and poetry groups across the country, including training for workshop facilitators. Free quarterly newsletter: www.survivorspoetry.com
Children with AIDS Charity (CWAC) www.cwac.org - was conceived in 1992 within the paediatric department of St Mary Hospital, Paddington. The founders were a small group of heathcare professionals and parents who became increasingly aware of the acute shortage of services for children infected and affected by HIV and AIDS. CWAC aims to help the youngest of those infected and affected by HIV and AIDS to lead as near normal a life as possible by providing the following services:
Survivors Poetry - is a national organisation promoting poetry by survivors of mental distress, through workshops, performances, readings and publications. Supports around 30 affiliated writing and poetry groups across the country, including training for workshop facilitators. Free quarterly newsletter: www.survivorspoetry.com
Children with AIDS Charity (CWAC) www.cwac.org - was conceived in 1992 within the paediatric department of St Mary Hospital, Paddington. The founders were a small group of heathcare professionals and parents who became increasingly aware of the acute shortage of services for children infected and affected by HIV and AIDS. CWAC aims to help the youngest of those infected and affected by HIV and AIDS to lead as near normal a life as possible by providing the following services:
- The Hardship & Respite Breaks Project to help provide basic items such as clothing, bedding and household items and grants towards individual family breaks within the UK.
- The Bonnie Camps Project to subsidize days out, and respite trips for children and families.
- Transport services to help children keep hospital and/or support group appointments or to transport families to them when they are on the wards.
- Education to promote awareness amongst children of all ages about the facts and fallacies surrounding HIV and AIDS issues, and to combat fear and predjudice.
- Events to raise funds and give paediatric HIV and AIDS a more prominent media profile.
Yesterday, my line manager (when asked) told me that I can attend the forthcoming Quaker Dialogue 3, Spirituality, Creativity and Mental Illness, by Susan Mitchell and Isabel Clarke. chair: David Saunders on Saturday 27th September, 2pm - 5pm, at Friends House, 173 Euston Road, NW1 2BJ. http://www.londonquakers.org.uk/
It is a public event, and the admission is a £6.00 payment at the door. It's publicity reads as follows:
Mental Illness lies behind much poverty, inequality and crime. Why do we not grant adequate resources to meet the need? Within every extended family there is someone who is mentally ill. How do we overcome fear, ignorance and lack of public sympathy? Creative expression is now seen as a royal road to mental health. What is the evidence that the spiritual has a role in healing, too? A lively afternoon of presentations, dialogue and questions will explore these important issues and look at new developments.
Dr Susan Mitchell, formerly Medical Director and Consultant Psychiatrist, at The Retreat, York, continues to be involved there in The Retreat's Spiritual Working Group. She is a fellow of the Royal College of Psychiatrist and member of its Faculty of Rehabilitation and Social Psychiatry.
Isabel Clarke is an NHS consultant clinical psychologist at the psychiatric inpatient hospital Woodhaven, West Southampton and New Forest, leading in psychological therapies. She researches, organises conferences and writes, recently editing Psychosis and Spirituality: exploring the new frontier (2001)
Tuesday 23 September 2008
Open to Possibilities.
DIVA Magazine (Lesbian Bisexual Lifestyle) - is Europe's only mainstream lesbian magazine: www.divamag.co.uk
UK Black Pride - created to promote unity among Black people of African, Asian, Middle Eastern & Latin American descent who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender: www.ukblackpride.org.uk
JFLAG (Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All- sexuals and Gays) - is committed to working towards a Jamaican society in which the Human Rights and Equality of Lesbians, All- sexuals and Gays are guaranteed. To foster the acceptance and enrichment of the lives of same-gender-loving persons who have been, and continue to be, an integral part of society: www.jflag.org
Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health (SCMH) is an independent organisation aiming to influence and improve mental health policy and practice through a programme of research, service development and training. Publishes reports, runs conferences. Includes 'Breaking the Circle of Fear' a national programme that aims to improve mental health services for African and Caribbean communities, 'The Agenda'. Setting up a black user group for south London: www.scmh.org.uk
Event: Lambeth's Black Queer Pulse.
Date/Time: 21st October 2008 at 7-9pm.
Panel: Dennis Carney, Ted Walker Brown, Linda Bellos OBE and Neville Fleming.
Place: Lambeth Archives, Minet Library, 52 Knatchbull Road, London SE5 9QY
Brixton has always had a rich and diverse Black and queer contemporary social history from the early 19th Century to the present day. This event through informal discussions will shed light on the unique place Brixton holds within the Black LGBT experience in the UK.
Come along and share your stories, memories and experiences.
The event is organised by rukus! Black LGBT Archive www.rukus.co.uk in partnership with Lambeth Libraries and Archives.
UK Black Pride - created to promote unity among Black people of African, Asian, Middle Eastern & Latin American descent who identify as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender: www.ukblackpride.org.uk
JFLAG (Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All- sexuals and Gays) - is committed to working towards a Jamaican society in which the Human Rights and Equality of Lesbians, All- sexuals and Gays are guaranteed. To foster the acceptance and enrichment of the lives of same-gender-loving persons who have been, and continue to be, an integral part of society: www.jflag.org
Sainsbury Centre for Mental Health (SCMH) is an independent organisation aiming to influence and improve mental health policy and practice through a programme of research, service development and training. Publishes reports, runs conferences. Includes 'Breaking the Circle of Fear' a national programme that aims to improve mental health services for African and Caribbean communities, 'The Agenda'. Setting up a black user group for south London: www.scmh.org.uk
Event: Lambeth's Black Queer Pulse.
Date/Time: 21st October 2008 at 7-9pm.
Panel: Dennis Carney, Ted Walker Brown, Linda Bellos OBE and Neville Fleming.
Place: Lambeth Archives, Minet Library, 52 Knatchbull Road, London SE5 9QY
Brixton has always had a rich and diverse Black and queer contemporary social history from the early 19th Century to the present day. This event through informal discussions will shed light on the unique place Brixton holds within the Black LGBT experience in the UK.
Come along and share your stories, memories and experiences.
The event is organised by rukus! Black LGBT Archive www.rukus.co.uk in partnership with Lambeth Libraries and Archives.
Monday 22 September 2008
Truth. Love. Beauty.
Gingerbeer - provides up-to-date information on London's Women only events, Lesbian clubs, dyke bars, queer shops and gay restaurants: www.gingerbeer.co.uk
Women's National Commission - is the official, independent, advisory body giving the views of women to the UK Government: www.thewnc.org.uk
International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) - seeks to promote a world free of poverty in which women and men, girls and boys have equal opportunities to achieve their potential and realise their rights: www.icrw.org
I have noticed, that there seems to be certain talents and artists, that I crave in all their forms. Worts 'n' all. Maybe it is just part and parcel of being a fan. Eclectic as I am.
So far this year, I have really spoilt myself. I have induged myself by attending three live concerts and at least five theatre performances. All excellent. I kicked off by visiting the Imperial War Museum with my son on Saturday 12th January. My son and I then went to see 'Afrika Afrika' at the O2 Sat 26th January. Friday 22nd- Monday 25 February, I attended the Anthony Robbins 'Unleash the Power Within' Workshop. Saturday 1st March, my son and I went to see 'We Will Rock You' at the Dominion theatre. Thursday 27th March I watched 'Elizabeth The Golden Age' at the Prince Charles cinema. Saturday 6th April, I went to the Hayward Gallery to view the 'Alexander Rochensky photography exhibition. Saturday 12th April my son and I watched 'Into the Hood' at the Novello theatre. Sunday 13th April, I went to the Photographers Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery. Saturday 19th April, I went to the 'Candy Bar.' Friday 25th April, I went to Photo Fusion, Brixton. Saturday 26th April, my son and I went to see the 'King Tutankhamun at the O2. Sunday 27th April, I went to the Tate Modern to view the 'Duchamp, Man Ray and Picabia' exhibition. On Saturday 10th May, my son and I watched 'Jump' performed at the Peacock theatre. Thursday 22nd May, I watched 'What Happens in Vegas' at the Clapham Picture House. On Saturday 24th May, I watched a performance of 'Havana Rakatan' at the Peacock theatre with my son and mum. On Tuesday 3rd June, I attended the Mary J Blige's live performance www.mjblige.com at the O2. Friday 6th June, my son and I viewed the Ian Fleming 'James Bond' exhibition at the Imperial War Museum. On Saturday 28th June, I went to see, 'The Harder They Come' performed at the Playhouse theatre, with my son and his god-father, Andrew, my long-standing best male friend. On Monday 30th June, I went to see 'Indana Jones and the Crystal Skull' at the Odeon Marble Arch cinema. Saturday 12th July, I went with my son and his god-mother, my dear friend, Birgit to watch 'Twelfth Night' performed at the Open Air theatre in Regent's Park. Friday 18th July, I watched Jill Scott's live performance www.jillscott.com at Brixton Academy. On Saturday 19th July, I went to watch 'Mamma Mia' at the Odeon Marble Arch. On Tuesday 22nd July, I watched Chaka Khan's live performance www.chakakhan.com at the Indigo O2. On Monday 4th August, I went to the Natural History Museum. On Monday 11th August, I went to the British Museum. On Wednesday 20th August, I went to see 'The Wizard of Oz' performed at the Royal Festival Hall.
It is a Mistake to Look For One Model.
One Parent Families/Gingerbread - is the only lone parent family organisation run by lone parents for lone parents: www.oneparentfamilies.org.uk and www.gingerbread.org.uk
PinkParents (We are family) - offers a range of support services and social activities for all LGBT families. Whatever stage you are at; whether you are considering parenting, have grandchildren, are fostering or adopting or are an uncle or aunty, Pinkparents can offer you support and a place to meet new friends: www.pinkparents.org.uk
APA (American Psychological Association) Public Interest Directorate: Summary on Lesbian and Gay parenting - Reseach summary provided by the Public Interest Directorate of lesbian and gay parents and their children, designed for Mental Health professionals: www.apa.org/pi/parent.html
Unsuprisingly, for me at least, over the last few days I have been pondering my last converstation with my son. During which, I had reminded him that I would not be seeing him this forthcoming Saturday, as I would be working. In reply, he had asked "Can I come and help you do your work?" Bless. For a fleeting moment, the Charles Dickens character 'Oliver Twist,' came to life in my mind.
Fortunately, in my absence, I am satisfied that my son is happy and safe and has been, and is, receiving consistent and appropriate, outstanding care, love, respect and attention. And that he is situated at the forefront of his competent, longterm foster parents' focus.
Knowing this, plus my gradual acceptance of, 'powerlessness,' over my loss of daily productive involvement in my son's life, has helped to reduce my feelings of mental distress.
PinkParents (We are family) - offers a range of support services and social activities for all LGBT families. Whatever stage you are at; whether you are considering parenting, have grandchildren, are fostering or adopting or are an uncle or aunty, Pinkparents can offer you support and a place to meet new friends: www.pinkparents.org.uk
APA (American Psychological Association) Public Interest Directorate: Summary on Lesbian and Gay parenting - Reseach summary provided by the Public Interest Directorate of lesbian and gay parents and their children, designed for Mental Health professionals: www.apa.org/pi/parent.html
Unsuprisingly, for me at least, over the last few days I have been pondering my last converstation with my son. During which, I had reminded him that I would not be seeing him this forthcoming Saturday, as I would be working. In reply, he had asked "Can I come and help you do your work?" Bless. For a fleeting moment, the Charles Dickens character 'Oliver Twist,' came to life in my mind.
Fortunately, in my absence, I am satisfied that my son is happy and safe and has been, and is, receiving consistent and appropriate, outstanding care, love, respect and attention. And that he is situated at the forefront of his competent, longterm foster parents' focus.
Knowing this, plus my gradual acceptance of, 'powerlessness,' over my loss of daily productive involvement in my son's life, has helped to reduce my feelings of mental distress.
Sunday 21 September 2008
I'm Interested In How Things Can Be Done.
UK Advocacy Network (UKAN) - is a national federation of user-led groups involved in advocacy, patient councils, service planning etc. It exsists to facilitate a two-way process - supporting user groups with training, advice and examples of good practice and acting at national level to pass on views from grass roots to the highest levels of the mental health system: www.u-kan.co.uk
WISH (Women in Secure Hospitals) - assists women in, at risk of being in, or discharged from secure hospitals: Rampton, Ashworth or Broadmoor, also regional medium secure units, e.g. Denis Hill Unit at the Bethlem and Cane Hill Unit in Coulsden, as well as Holloway Prison Psychiatric Unit. Visits arranged to women in hospitals and units. Offers information and advice, advocacy, befriending and support, with an emphasis on self-help and empowerment. Campaigns for changes to mental health law on women's issues, and can provide research materials, etc: www.womenatwish.com
Mind (The National Association for Mental Health) - offers a national information service and legal advice. Supports over 200 independent affiliated Mind associations nationwide. Organises campaigns, conferences and training courses. Extensive range of books, leaflets, reports, factsheets and other publications available. Publishes 'OpenMind' magazine quarterly. Includes the MindLink network of service users/survivors, and Diverse Minds, a black and minority ethnic network: www.mind.org.uk
RADAR - is a national organisation run by disabled people. Bookshop, mailing list and email chat service. Links to other disability sites: www.radar.org.uk
I have been up and out today, with my ipod playing Alanis Morrisette's 'Jagged Little Pill' c.d. It is one of my favourites, as well as both 'Kill Bill' movies, directed by Quentin Tarrantino.
For some reason this morning, I thought of my many enjoyable holidays in Berlin, which took place after the onset of my mental illness, but before my son's birth.
By 10.30am I was seated in my local Friends (Quaker) Meeting House, participating in a meeting for worship. I am going to contact Quaker lesbian & Gay fellowship www.qlgf.org.uk
WISH (Women in Secure Hospitals) - assists women in, at risk of being in, or discharged from secure hospitals: Rampton, Ashworth or Broadmoor, also regional medium secure units, e.g. Denis Hill Unit at the Bethlem and Cane Hill Unit in Coulsden, as well as Holloway Prison Psychiatric Unit. Visits arranged to women in hospitals and units. Offers information and advice, advocacy, befriending and support, with an emphasis on self-help and empowerment. Campaigns for changes to mental health law on women's issues, and can provide research materials, etc: www.womenatwish.com
Mind (The National Association for Mental Health) - offers a national information service and legal advice. Supports over 200 independent affiliated Mind associations nationwide. Organises campaigns, conferences and training courses. Extensive range of books, leaflets, reports, factsheets and other publications available. Publishes 'OpenMind' magazine quarterly. Includes the MindLink network of service users/survivors, and Diverse Minds, a black and minority ethnic network: www.mind.org.uk
RADAR - is a national organisation run by disabled people. Bookshop, mailing list and email chat service. Links to other disability sites: www.radar.org.uk
I have been up and out today, with my ipod playing Alanis Morrisette's 'Jagged Little Pill' c.d. It is one of my favourites, as well as both 'Kill Bill' movies, directed by Quentin Tarrantino.
For some reason this morning, I thought of my many enjoyable holidays in Berlin, which took place after the onset of my mental illness, but before my son's birth.
By 10.30am I was seated in my local Friends (Quaker) Meeting House, participating in a meeting for worship. I am going to contact Quaker lesbian & Gay fellowship www.qlgf.org.uk
The Legacy.
Sexual Abuse Survivors in Recover Anonymous - SAS are a group of individuals who have had their ability to enjoy sexuality as a sacred, life-enhancing experience violated as a result of sexual abuse: www.siawso.org and www.sexualabusesurvivors.com
Families Anonymous - is support for families and friends concerned about drug abuse or related behaviour problems: www.famanon.org.uk
Al Anon - provides understanding strength and hope to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else's drinking: www.al-anonuk.org.uk
Nicotine Anonymous - is a 12 step program offering support to those who want to quit cigarettes and quit smoking and stop other forms of tobacco and nicotine addiction: www.nicotine-anonymous.org
Narcotics Anonymous (N.A) - is a non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using: www.ukna.org
Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A) - is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism: www.alcholics-anonymous.org
Cocaine Anonymous (C.A) - is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover for their addiction: www.cauk.org.uk
Overeaters Anonymous (O.A) - is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating: www.oagb.org.uk
Dual Recovery Anonymous (DRA) - is a fellowship of men and women who meet to support each other in our common recovery from two No fault illness; an emotional or psychiatric illness and chemical dependency: www.draonline.org
Marijuana Anonymous - is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction: www.marijuana-anonymous.org
As I currently look at some photograph's of Bill Wilson (Bill W), which are in the book 'My name is Bill' Bill Wilson - his life and the creation of Alchoholics Anonymous, by Susan Cheever, a feeling of gratitude is washing over me.
Families Anonymous - is support for families and friends concerned about drug abuse or related behaviour problems: www.famanon.org.uk
Al Anon - provides understanding strength and hope to anyone whose life is, or has been, affected by someone else's drinking: www.al-anonuk.org.uk
Nicotine Anonymous - is a 12 step program offering support to those who want to quit cigarettes and quit smoking and stop other forms of tobacco and nicotine addiction: www.nicotine-anonymous.org
Narcotics Anonymous (N.A) - is a non-profit fellowship of men and women for whom drugs had become a major problem. We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other stay clean. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using: www.ukna.org
Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A) - is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism: www.alcholics-anonymous.org
Cocaine Anonymous (C.A) - is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover for their addiction: www.cauk.org.uk
Overeaters Anonymous (O.A) - is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating: www.oagb.org.uk
Dual Recovery Anonymous (DRA) - is a fellowship of men and women who meet to support each other in our common recovery from two No fault illness; an emotional or psychiatric illness and chemical dependency: www.draonline.org
Marijuana Anonymous - is a fellowship of men and women who share our experience, strength, and hope with each other that we may solve our common problem and help others to recover from marijuana addiction: www.marijuana-anonymous.org
As I currently look at some photograph's of Bill Wilson (Bill W), which are in the book 'My name is Bill' Bill Wilson - his life and the creation of Alchoholics Anonymous, by Susan Cheever, a feeling of gratitude is washing over me.
Saturday 20 September 2008
Why Not?
Mental Health Foundation - is a national organisation aiming to help people survive, recover from and prevent mental health problems: www.mentalhealth.org.uk
POPAN (Prevention of professional Abuse Network) - is a helpline providing information, advice and support for people abused by health or social care professionals, counsellors, therapists, etc: www.popan.org.uk
GALOP - is London's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community safety charity. We are a driving force in changing the way the police work with our communities and give advice and support to those affected by homophobic and transphobic violence or hate crime: www.galop.org.uk
Beaumont Society - is a national organisation supporting self-help groups for transgender, transvestite and transsexual people their partners and friends: www.beaumontsociety.org.uk
Women of the Beaumont Society (WOBS) - is a telephone helpline offering information, advice, support and befriending for wives, women partners, family and friends of transgendered and gender dysphoric people: www.gender.org.uk/wobsuk
Today was my day off. Outside my window, it seemed to be bright and sunny. I stayed in bed until 5pm. It wasn't a duvet dive. It was a considered decision that I had made, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I ate all my meals, I slept on and off, I made and received phone calls and indulged myself with much need rest.
At 6pm, I phoned my son, who then engaged in a thirty minute conversation with me. What a treat.
By 7.15pm, I was in Camberwell.
POPAN (Prevention of professional Abuse Network) - is a helpline providing information, advice and support for people abused by health or social care professionals, counsellors, therapists, etc: www.popan.org.uk
GALOP - is London's lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community safety charity. We are a driving force in changing the way the police work with our communities and give advice and support to those affected by homophobic and transphobic violence or hate crime: www.galop.org.uk
Beaumont Society - is a national organisation supporting self-help groups for transgender, transvestite and transsexual people their partners and friends: www.beaumontsociety.org.uk
Women of the Beaumont Society (WOBS) - is a telephone helpline offering information, advice, support and befriending for wives, women partners, family and friends of transgendered and gender dysphoric people: www.gender.org.uk/wobsuk
Today was my day off. Outside my window, it seemed to be bright and sunny. I stayed in bed until 5pm. It wasn't a duvet dive. It was a considered decision that I had made, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I ate all my meals, I slept on and off, I made and received phone calls and indulged myself with much need rest.
At 6pm, I phoned my son, who then engaged in a thirty minute conversation with me. What a treat.
By 7.15pm, I was in Camberwell.
Friday 19 September 2008
Stepping Outside Comfort Zone.
One in Four - is run for and by people who have experienced sexual abuse, and provides a helpline and counselling service for men and women who have experienced sexual abuse, and their families: www.oneinfour.org.uk
Domestic Violence Intervention Project - aims to increase the safety of women and children who experience domestic violence by providing services challenging men and supporting women: www.dvip.org
The Survivors Trust - is a national umbrella agency for over 125 specialist voluntary sector agencies providing a range of counselling, therapeutic and support services working with women, men and children who are victims/survivors of rape, sexual violence and childhood sexual abuse: www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Rape Crisis Federation - Rape Crisis groups exist across the UK and Ireland to provide services for women and girls and will also provide information of support agencies for men: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Mankind UK - provides support services to men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and/or adult sexual assault at any time in their lives: www.mankinduk.co.uk
I am an Adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse, which initially caused me much embarrassment and discomfort. It has and still does affect me in many overt and insidious ways during my daily life. Even these days, after many years in recovery, being an adult survivor of child sexual abuse, still flavours my conduct within platonic and sexual relationships with others, as well as my own personal relationship with myself.
Over the years, I have sought various and differing forms of recovery regarding this issue. I personally found the book 'The Courage to Heal,' a guide for women survivors of child sexual abuse, by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis, informative and helpful. I accept that, for me, recovery has been an ongoing process of identifying 'blindspots,' and rising to the challenges.
One such recent challenge, has been to re-consider my relationship with sex. This opportunity was bought about by visiting to the 'Devotion Boutique' shop in Balham. As I browsed the shop, I found many things to feast my eyes with. But just as I was considering the idea, of purchasing the book 'A Path With Heart,' the classic guide through the perils and promises of spiritual life, by Jack Kornfield, two additional books caught my eye. 'The Survivor's Guide to Sex' how to have an empowered sex life after childhood sexual abuse, by Staci Haines and 'Healing Sex' a mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma, also by Staci Haines. After briefly reflecting on my, at least, six years of sexual abstinence -partly as a result of my inability and unwillingness be able to love another woman, due to an ongoing four year adoration of one woman in particular, and to a certain degree, because of 'Stella's' effect on my body - my interest was aroused and I purchased all three books.
Domestic Violence Intervention Project - aims to increase the safety of women and children who experience domestic violence by providing services challenging men and supporting women: www.dvip.org
The Survivors Trust - is a national umbrella agency for over 125 specialist voluntary sector agencies providing a range of counselling, therapeutic and support services working with women, men and children who are victims/survivors of rape, sexual violence and childhood sexual abuse: www.thesurvivorstrust.org
Rape Crisis Federation - Rape Crisis groups exist across the UK and Ireland to provide services for women and girls and will also provide information of support agencies for men: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Mankind UK - provides support services to men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse and/or adult sexual assault at any time in their lives: www.mankinduk.co.uk
I am an Adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse, which initially caused me much embarrassment and discomfort. It has and still does affect me in many overt and insidious ways during my daily life. Even these days, after many years in recovery, being an adult survivor of child sexual abuse, still flavours my conduct within platonic and sexual relationships with others, as well as my own personal relationship with myself.
Over the years, I have sought various and differing forms of recovery regarding this issue. I personally found the book 'The Courage to Heal,' a guide for women survivors of child sexual abuse, by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis, informative and helpful. I accept that, for me, recovery has been an ongoing process of identifying 'blindspots,' and rising to the challenges.
One such recent challenge, has been to re-consider my relationship with sex. This opportunity was bought about by visiting to the 'Devotion Boutique' shop in Balham. As I browsed the shop, I found many things to feast my eyes with. But just as I was considering the idea, of purchasing the book 'A Path With Heart,' the classic guide through the perils and promises of spiritual life, by Jack Kornfield, two additional books caught my eye. 'The Survivor's Guide to Sex' how to have an empowered sex life after childhood sexual abuse, by Staci Haines and 'Healing Sex' a mind-body approach to healing sexual trauma, also by Staci Haines. After briefly reflecting on my, at least, six years of sexual abstinence -partly as a result of my inability and unwillingness be able to love another woman, due to an ongoing four year adoration of one woman in particular, and to a certain degree, because of 'Stella's' effect on my body - my interest was aroused and I purchased all three books.
Leaving Abusive Partners.
The Queer Youth Alliance - The UK Alliance of LGBT Young People - is a national organisation providing advice, information and support for young LGBT people: www.queeryouth.org.uk
Polari - works for better services for older lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender (LGBT) people: www.casweb.org/polari
FFLAG (Families and friends of lesbians and gays) is an organisation of parents of lesbian daughters and gay sons which seeks to promote the well-being of lesbian, gay and bisexual people, their families and friends: www.fflag.org.uk
Broken Rainbow - is a UK wide helpline service, run by LGBT people for LGBT people experiencing domestic violence; and their families and friends, or professionals. It is a confidential listening, information and signposting service: www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
There are sayings that go 'never say never' and, 'there is always a first time.' I don't know if any of them are true, but for the first time experiences that I have had, especially after saying "never," many have been outstandingly pleasant. But, there are others which I have found nauseating.
One such baptism of fire, started during 1989, when I was 27 years old, and lasted approximately two years. I was in a non-platonic relationship with an older woman, which seemed to have started okay, but gradually deteriorated and became destructive and abusive. This dysfunctional relationship was made worse, because although I was in full-time paid employment, I had been homeless - this had initially started due to my leaving tied accomodation- and was living with her.
Although I had been 'out' as a lesbian to my family for at least a year, and in my workplace for three years, I found it extremely hard to talk about my situation. There is another saying which I have learnt within the last almost three years, that goes 'you're as sick as your secrets.' And I was, because the abuse that I was experiencing for the first time as an adult, then seemed to resurrect my child sexual and physical abuse experiences. Which further silenced me. I experienced deep trauma, and reverted to my childhood survival strategies.
Fortunately for me, although 'Broken-Rainbow' didn't exist at that time. I was able to go to a Women's Centre based in West Hampstead, where I obtained the book 'Leaving Abusive Partners' by Catherine Kirkwood.
Polari - works for better services for older lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender (LGBT) people: www.casweb.org/polari
FFLAG (Families and friends of lesbians and gays) is an organisation of parents of lesbian daughters and gay sons which seeks to promote the well-being of lesbian, gay and bisexual people, their families and friends: www.fflag.org.uk
Broken Rainbow - is a UK wide helpline service, run by LGBT people for LGBT people experiencing domestic violence; and their families and friends, or professionals. It is a confidential listening, information and signposting service: www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
There are sayings that go 'never say never' and, 'there is always a first time.' I don't know if any of them are true, but for the first time experiences that I have had, especially after saying "never," many have been outstandingly pleasant. But, there are others which I have found nauseating.
One such baptism of fire, started during 1989, when I was 27 years old, and lasted approximately two years. I was in a non-platonic relationship with an older woman, which seemed to have started okay, but gradually deteriorated and became destructive and abusive. This dysfunctional relationship was made worse, because although I was in full-time paid employment, I had been homeless - this had initially started due to my leaving tied accomodation- and was living with her.
Although I had been 'out' as a lesbian to my family for at least a year, and in my workplace for three years, I found it extremely hard to talk about my situation. There is another saying which I have learnt within the last almost three years, that goes 'you're as sick as your secrets.' And I was, because the abuse that I was experiencing for the first time as an adult, then seemed to resurrect my child sexual and physical abuse experiences. Which further silenced me. I experienced deep trauma, and reverted to my childhood survival strategies.
Fortunately for me, although 'Broken-Rainbow' didn't exist at that time. I was able to go to a Women's Centre based in West Hampstead, where I obtained the book 'Leaving Abusive Partners' by Catherine Kirkwood.
Thursday 18 September 2008
What A Gift!
Sane - Meeting the challenge of Mental Illness. Information on all aspects of Mental Illness...: www.sane.org.uk
Cooltan Arts - Mental Health Support through Art: www.cooltanarts.org.uk
Rukus! Federation - is a ground breaking cutting edge organisation dedicated to celebrating and showcasing the best in challenging, provocative works by Black Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual and Trans artists nationally and internationally: www.rukus.co.uk
The Pink Paper - is Britain's only national lesbian, gay and bisexual newspaper and the biggest circulating gay publication of any kind in the country: www.pinkpaper.com
Yesterday, when I realised that I will not be able to have my usual, five and a half hour contact with my son, next Saturday, because I will be working next weekend. I felt traumatised, due to my conflicting responsibilities. In the past, my feelings of fear and powerlessness over a given situation, such as this, would have triggered an inappropriate response. For example, leaving it to the very last minute to try to do something about my dilemma, thus upseting all concerned in the process (including myself) and concluding with a unsatisfactory, guilt-ridden outcome.
Remembering that 'insanity is repeating the same mistakes, and expecting different results,' I decided to do, 'first things first' and rang my son's foster parents. I explained my problem to his foster mother, who was empathetic and has arranged for me to see my son for two consecutive Saturdays (one of which, will be my birthday weekend). And she also invited me to attend his school's 'Advent' function on Saturday 6th December 2008.
What a gift!
Cooltan Arts - Mental Health Support through Art: www.cooltanarts.org.uk
Rukus! Federation - is a ground breaking cutting edge organisation dedicated to celebrating and showcasing the best in challenging, provocative works by Black Lesbians, Gay, Bisexual and Trans artists nationally and internationally: www.rukus.co.uk
The Pink Paper - is Britain's only national lesbian, gay and bisexual newspaper and the biggest circulating gay publication of any kind in the country: www.pinkpaper.com
Yesterday, when I realised that I will not be able to have my usual, five and a half hour contact with my son, next Saturday, because I will be working next weekend. I felt traumatised, due to my conflicting responsibilities. In the past, my feelings of fear and powerlessness over a given situation, such as this, would have triggered an inappropriate response. For example, leaving it to the very last minute to try to do something about my dilemma, thus upseting all concerned in the process (including myself) and concluding with a unsatisfactory, guilt-ridden outcome.
Remembering that 'insanity is repeating the same mistakes, and expecting different results,' I decided to do, 'first things first' and rang my son's foster parents. I explained my problem to his foster mother, who was empathetic and has arranged for me to see my son for two consecutive Saturdays (one of which, will be my birthday weekend). And she also invited me to attend his school's 'Advent' function on Saturday 6th December 2008.
What a gift!
Mission Possible.
Get Moving Week 4th-12th October - is a week of mass-participation activity, where people all over England will Get Moving to improve their physical and mental wellbeing while having a bit of fun - Get Moving is part of Time to Change: www.getmovingweek.org.uk
Creative Routes - is an Arts organisation for survivors of mental distress: www.creative-routes.org
Lambeth LGBT Forum - aims to make Lambeth a safer and more enjoyable place for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans people: www.lambethlgbtforum.org.uk
Marvelous news!
I have been accepted to attend the RADAR Leadership Development Day, in Glasgow, on 12th November 2008. 12th November will also be, one day at a time, my clean time birthday celebration day. Three years.
My line-manager's, line-manager, is delighted that I will be going to Glasgow for this RADAR course. He has said that I can attend, the forthcoming 3rd November 2008, Brighton, MindOut LGBT Mental Health Conference, during work time. Excellent.
I have now started reading 'A Can of Madness' by Jason Pegler. I am on page 14.
Creative Routes - is an Arts organisation for survivors of mental distress: www.creative-routes.org
Lambeth LGBT Forum - aims to make Lambeth a safer and more enjoyable place for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans people: www.lambethlgbtforum.org.uk
Marvelous news!
I have been accepted to attend the RADAR Leadership Development Day, in Glasgow, on 12th November 2008. 12th November will also be, one day at a time, my clean time birthday celebration day. Three years.
My line-manager's, line-manager, is delighted that I will be going to Glasgow for this RADAR course. He has said that I can attend, the forthcoming 3rd November 2008, Brighton, MindOut LGBT Mental Health Conference, during work time. Excellent.
I have now started reading 'A Can of Madness' by Jason Pegler. I am on page 14.
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Being Happy With Choices Made.
Dual Recovery Anonymous (DRA) - is an independent, non-professional 12 Step fellowship. We are chemically dependent and also affected by an emotional or mental illness: www.draonline.org
Shift - is an initiative to tackle stigma and discrimination surrounding mental illness issues in England: www.shift.org.uk
London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard (LLGS) - provides an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men, bisexual people and anyone who needs to consider issues around their sexuality: www.gueery.org.uk
Mental Health Media Awards - The best portrayals and most sensitive reporting in print and broadcast media, on the subject of mental Health: www.mhmawards.net
I am still reading 'Life After Darkness' by Cathy Wield. I am going to spend the next couple of hours reading it, before going to work today. I am currently on page 97.
Shift - is an initiative to tackle stigma and discrimination surrounding mental illness issues in England: www.shift.org.uk
London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard (LLGS) - provides an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men, bisexual people and anyone who needs to consider issues around their sexuality: www.gueery.org.uk
Mental Health Media Awards - The best portrayals and most sensitive reporting in print and broadcast media, on the subject of mental Health: www.mhmawards.net
I am still reading 'Life After Darkness' by Cathy Wield. I am going to spend the next couple of hours reading it, before going to work today. I am currently on page 97.
Tuesday 16 September 2008
A Window Of Opportunity.
Rethink (working together to help everyone affected by severe mental illness recover a better quality of life): http://www.rethink.org/
MindOut (mind LGBT mental health): www.lgbtmind.com
MindOut is hosting the 2008 LGBT Mental Health Conference, on Monday 3rd November, in Brighton.
The conference will be suitable for LGBT people with experience of mental health issues, Service Providers, Commissioners and Policy Makers. The chair of the conference will be Paul Farmer, Chief Executive, Mind.
MindOut (mind LGBT mental health): www.lgbtmind.com
MindOut is hosting the 2008 LGBT Mental Health Conference, on Monday 3rd November, in Brighton.
The conference will be suitable for LGBT people with experience of mental health issues, Service Providers, Commissioners and Policy Makers. The chair of the conference will be Paul Farmer, Chief Executive, Mind.
Monday 15 September 2008
All We Need Is Love.
ONEinFOUR (An innovative mental health awareness and anti-stigma project): www.oneinfourmag.org
Mental Health Shop (An online resource for mental health publications, leaflets, booklets, videos, DVDs and more): www.mentalhealthshop.org
Stonewall (Equality & Justice for Lesbians, Gay Men & Bisexuals): www.stonewall.org.uk
The Gender Trust (which specifically helps anyone who is affected by gender identity issues including partners, families, employers and professionals): www.gendertrust.org.uk
Yesterday, among other things, I attended a 'transcending our differences' introduction to Buddhism talk, for the LGBT community. It was organised by the 'Absolute Freedom' LGBT division of the SGI-UK. www.sgi-uk.org
In the past I have also participated in many Quaker (Friends) LGBT meetings. www.quaker.org.uk
I have also been fortunate enough to attend at least one event, organised by the L&G Christian Movement. www.lgcm.org.uk
Mental Health Shop (An online resource for mental health publications, leaflets, booklets, videos, DVDs and more): www.mentalhealthshop.org
Stonewall (Equality & Justice for Lesbians, Gay Men & Bisexuals): www.stonewall.org.uk
The Gender Trust (which specifically helps anyone who is affected by gender identity issues including partners, families, employers and professionals): www.gendertrust.org.uk
Yesterday, among other things, I attended a 'transcending our differences' introduction to Buddhism talk, for the LGBT community. It was organised by the 'Absolute Freedom' LGBT division of the SGI-UK. www.sgi-uk.org
In the past I have also participated in many Quaker (Friends) LGBT meetings. www.quaker.org.uk
I have also been fortunate enough to attend at least one event, organised by the L&G Christian Movement. www.lgcm.org.uk
Sunday 14 September 2008
My Own 'Macduff.'
The Women's Library (celebrating and recording women's lives): www.londonmet.ac.uk/thewomenslibrary
Lesbian and gay archives: www.lse.ac.uk/library/archive/gutoho/lesbian_and_gay_archives.htm
'Gay's the Word' lesbian and gay bookshop: http://freespace.virgin.net/gays.theword
Chipmunkapublishing (The Mental Health Publisher): www.chipmunkapublishing.com
My son, was a caesarian born baby, much like the character, Macduff, in the William Shakespeare play, Macbeth. Luckily for me, my 'Macduff' is also amazing.
Yesterday, I met with my son for five and a half hours of unsupervised contact. This usually takes place every two weeks. During this contact he demonstrated his live musicianship, by playing his Recorder, whilst reading from a stave. He is not yet a Beethoven or a Mozart, but he is on his way. My son also took delight in reading his copy of one of the 'Horrid Henry' series, Horrid Henry tricks the tooth Fairy. This is a great achievement for him as, this time last year he could only read his forename.
After initially dropping into the SGI-UK Buddhist centre. We took a bus to the Science Museum. Whilst on the bus, my son explained how he used to only be a football supporter of one player, (David Beckham), but now he is also a supporter of a football club (Chelsea). My son also paid attention to flying aircrafts and suggested that I may not be interested in aircrafts, because I am a woman. I assured him that this was not the case.
We went to three places in the Science Museum. The shop, where we bumped into three of his Steiner school friends. Floor three (aircrafts section), and floor two (ships section). After leaving the museum, we went for a Chicken nugget Happy Meal and a McFlurry, in McDonald's.
It is such a joy to share quality time with my son. He was born six years into, the start of the onset of, my mental illness. And after spending the first five days of his life with me in the postnatal unit, he then spent the next almost three months, with me, in the 'Mother and Baby' unit of a psychiatric hospital.
Macbeth's Macduff? I think so.
Lesbian and gay archives: www.lse.ac.uk/library/archive/gutoho/lesbian_and_gay_archives.htm
'Gay's the Word' lesbian and gay bookshop: http://freespace.virgin.net/gays.theword
Chipmunkapublishing (The Mental Health Publisher): www.chipmunkapublishing.com
My son, was a caesarian born baby, much like the character, Macduff, in the William Shakespeare play, Macbeth. Luckily for me, my 'Macduff' is also amazing.
Yesterday, I met with my son for five and a half hours of unsupervised contact. This usually takes place every two weeks. During this contact he demonstrated his live musicianship, by playing his Recorder, whilst reading from a stave. He is not yet a Beethoven or a Mozart, but he is on his way. My son also took delight in reading his copy of one of the 'Horrid Henry' series, Horrid Henry tricks the tooth Fairy. This is a great achievement for him as, this time last year he could only read his forename.
After initially dropping into the SGI-UK Buddhist centre. We took a bus to the Science Museum. Whilst on the bus, my son explained how he used to only be a football supporter of one player, (David Beckham), but now he is also a supporter of a football club (Chelsea). My son also paid attention to flying aircrafts and suggested that I may not be interested in aircrafts, because I am a woman. I assured him that this was not the case.
We went to three places in the Science Museum. The shop, where we bumped into three of his Steiner school friends. Floor three (aircrafts section), and floor two (ships section). After leaving the museum, we went for a Chicken nugget Happy Meal and a McFlurry, in McDonald's.
It is such a joy to share quality time with my son. He was born six years into, the start of the onset of, my mental illness. And after spending the first five days of his life with me in the postnatal unit, he then spent the next almost three months, with me, in the 'Mother and Baby' unit of a psychiatric hospital.
Macbeth's Macduff? I think so.
Saturday 13 September 2008
A Favourable Circumstance.
Mental Health Media's Anti-discrimination Toolkit: www.openuptoolkit.net
Hearing Voices Network: www.hearing-voices.org
Mind: www.mind.org.uk
I now have, my copy, of a letter recently written to my gp, by Dr Kitty. It reads:
Dear Dr Hartman
Re: Yvonne...
Diagnosis: Schizo affective disorder
Medication: Trifluoperazine (reduced to 2mgs once daily)
Procyclidine 5mgs once daily- stopped today
I reviewed Yvonne with her care co-ordinator, Grace Isiaka in clinic today. She remains extremely well and has not had any problems since the last reduction in her Trifluoperazine dose. In October, it will be three years since her last admission and the last time she came off medication was unsupervised back in approximately in 2003, she relapsed approximately six months after abruptly stoppping it at that point. Previous supervised reductions have been more successful.
She is continuing to get side effects of the medication, mainly excessive lacremation and hypersalivation at night. We discussed the symptons she complained of in her last assessment, she reported that she does get some breast pain and breast enlargement, but the symptoms of Galactorrhoea are not current. This is something she has had when on high doses of medication in the past. She also reported that her periods are currently heavy and regular, and she has a diagnosis of fibroids. I explained that she has a normal prolactin level and we could predict that this had probably been raised in the past, when she had the milk discharge and the effect of this on mentruation would normally be to produce light and irregular periods.
We went over her early warning signs and these are isolation, spending 18 plus hours of sleep and neglecting her personal care. She does not return calls of professionals or friends and does not keep appointments. She is also calls regarding her benefits; saying that she is not disabled and therefore stops claiming money.
We also discussed the fact that Grace her care co-ordinator may be leaving to complete some training in a month or so time and this maybe an opportunity for Yvonne to think about coming from enhanced to standard CPA. We discussed the option of the the medication service, which means she could have face to face contact to pick up her medication. Grace and Yvonne will decide this in a further session together and I will review her again in four months time and consider making a further reduction to her Trifluoperazine dose at that point if all is going well.
In terms of other things, her work is going well and she is applying for a couple of additional positions; her son seems to have been allocated a social worker so things should get moving in her attempt to get more contact with him. In terms of her mental state today, there were no abnormal features and she was bright, socially appropriate and responsive in a very professional manner to a couple of telephone calls she received.
There are no current risk issues.
Many thanks
Yours sincerely
Dr Kitty Seed
Specialist Registrar....
Public Interest: http://www.apa.org/
Hearing Voices Network: www.hearing-voices.org
Mind: www.mind.org.uk
I now have, my copy, of a letter recently written to my gp, by Dr Kitty. It reads:
Dear Dr Hartman
Re: Yvonne...
Diagnosis: Schizo affective disorder
Medication: Trifluoperazine (reduced to 2mgs once daily)
Procyclidine 5mgs once daily- stopped today
I reviewed Yvonne with her care co-ordinator, Grace Isiaka in clinic today. She remains extremely well and has not had any problems since the last reduction in her Trifluoperazine dose. In October, it will be three years since her last admission and the last time she came off medication was unsupervised back in approximately in 2003, she relapsed approximately six months after abruptly stoppping it at that point. Previous supervised reductions have been more successful.
She is continuing to get side effects of the medication, mainly excessive lacremation and hypersalivation at night. We discussed the symptons she complained of in her last assessment, she reported that she does get some breast pain and breast enlargement, but the symptoms of Galactorrhoea are not current. This is something she has had when on high doses of medication in the past. She also reported that her periods are currently heavy and regular, and she has a diagnosis of fibroids. I explained that she has a normal prolactin level and we could predict that this had probably been raised in the past, when she had the milk discharge and the effect of this on mentruation would normally be to produce light and irregular periods.
We went over her early warning signs and these are isolation, spending 18 plus hours of sleep and neglecting her personal care. She does not return calls of professionals or friends and does not keep appointments. She is also calls regarding her benefits; saying that she is not disabled and therefore stops claiming money.
We also discussed the fact that Grace her care co-ordinator may be leaving to complete some training in a month or so time and this maybe an opportunity for Yvonne to think about coming from enhanced to standard CPA. We discussed the option of the the medication service, which means she could have face to face contact to pick up her medication. Grace and Yvonne will decide this in a further session together and I will review her again in four months time and consider making a further reduction to her Trifluoperazine dose at that point if all is going well.
In terms of other things, her work is going well and she is applying for a couple of additional positions; her son seems to have been allocated a social worker so things should get moving in her attempt to get more contact with him. In terms of her mental state today, there were no abnormal features and she was bright, socially appropriate and responsive in a very professional manner to a couple of telephone calls she received.
There are no current risk issues.
Many thanks
Yours sincerely
Dr Kitty Seed
Specialist Registrar....
Public Interest: http://www.apa.org/
Friday 12 September 2008
Oh, What A Night!
Pink Parents (We are family): www.pinkparents.org.uk
Contact a Family (for families with disabled children): www.cafamily.org.uk
Last night's 7.30pm Russian Theatre, performance of 'The Family (Semianyki),' at Hackney Empire, was fantastic. I enjoyed every moment of the two hour performance. The clowns and mimes were extraordinary, wonderful and very funny.
Mental Health Media: www.mhmedia.com
London Friend: www.londonfriend.org.uk
PACE: www.pacehealth.org.uk
The reviews of Matthew Bourne's Dorian Gray, dance performance, are in my opinion accurate. Last night's 11.30pm Sadler's Wells, two hour performance, in aid of the Terrence Higgins Trust, was outstanding.
Unfortunately due to lack of funding, the PACE Mental Health Advocacy service has been closed at the end of August 2008. PACE is working very hard in order to reopen the service as soon as possible.
Contact a Family (for families with disabled children): www.cafamily.org.uk
Last night's 7.30pm Russian Theatre, performance of 'The Family (Semianyki),' at Hackney Empire, was fantastic. I enjoyed every moment of the two hour performance. The clowns and mimes were extraordinary, wonderful and very funny.
Mental Health Media: www.mhmedia.com
London Friend: www.londonfriend.org.uk
PACE: www.pacehealth.org.uk
The reviews of Matthew Bourne's Dorian Gray, dance performance, are in my opinion accurate. Last night's 11.30pm Sadler's Wells, two hour performance, in aid of the Terrence Higgins Trust, was outstanding.
Unfortunately due to lack of funding, the PACE Mental Health Advocacy service has been closed at the end of August 2008. PACE is working very hard in order to reopen the service as soon as possible.
Thursday 11 September 2008
One In Four.
'Time to Change,' is the new name for 'Moving People' www.movingpeople.org.uk
Years ago I heard Kay Redfield Jamison, a Professor of Psychiatry, speaking about her personal experience, of mental illness, on the radio. That was when the lightbulb went on, in my mind. I told my Consultant Psychiatrist that, for the first time I had recognised aspects of my own, Schizo affective disorder, mental illness from the way that Kay Redfield Jamison had described her's, which is manic- depressive illness, during her interview. Later on, I was delighted to obtain and read her book 'An Unquiet Mind' a memoir of moods and madness.
The seeds then sown, I went on to read the brilliant 'Depression and how to Survive it' written by Spike Milligan and Anthony Clare. Betty Berzon's deeply moving and inspirational book, 'Surviving Madness' a therapist's own story. This Betty Berzon book, also really helped to centre me in my sexuality. I was completely satisfied with Paulo Coelho's excellent fiction 'Veronika Desides to Die', M. Scott Peck's amazing book 'Further along the road less travelled', the unending journey towards spiritual growth, and Jacqueline Walker's absolute must read 'Pilgrim State' a story of mothers and daughters and the bonds which can never be broken. 'Whilst reading 'Pilgrim State' not only did I reconnected with my childhood and culture. But I also felt the compassion for my mother (she is also a survivor of mental health services) that I was unable to feel, because of my youth.
I am currently on page 90 of Cathy Wield's, insightful and compelling book, 'Life after darkness.' I already have my next book to read lined-up. It is going to be, 'A can of madness' written by Jason Pegler, who set up Chipmunkapublishing in 2002.
Years ago I heard Kay Redfield Jamison, a Professor of Psychiatry, speaking about her personal experience, of mental illness, on the radio. That was when the lightbulb went on, in my mind. I told my Consultant Psychiatrist that, for the first time I had recognised aspects of my own, Schizo affective disorder, mental illness from the way that Kay Redfield Jamison had described her's, which is manic- depressive illness, during her interview. Later on, I was delighted to obtain and read her book 'An Unquiet Mind' a memoir of moods and madness.
The seeds then sown, I went on to read the brilliant 'Depression and how to Survive it' written by Spike Milligan and Anthony Clare. Betty Berzon's deeply moving and inspirational book, 'Surviving Madness' a therapist's own story. This Betty Berzon book, also really helped to centre me in my sexuality. I was completely satisfied with Paulo Coelho's excellent fiction 'Veronika Desides to Die', M. Scott Peck's amazing book 'Further along the road less travelled', the unending journey towards spiritual growth, and Jacqueline Walker's absolute must read 'Pilgrim State' a story of mothers and daughters and the bonds which can never be broken. 'Whilst reading 'Pilgrim State' not only did I reconnected with my childhood and culture. But I also felt the compassion for my mother (she is also a survivor of mental health services) that I was unable to feel, because of my youth.
I am currently on page 90 of Cathy Wield's, insightful and compelling book, 'Life after darkness.' I already have my next book to read lined-up. It is going to be, 'A can of madness' written by Jason Pegler, who set up Chipmunkapublishing in 2002.
Wednesday 10 September 2008
What's A Girl, Like Me, To Think?
Approximately ten years ago, when I was released from an enforced Section 3 hospital admission, I did volunteer work in the psychiatric hospital's Service User group. I met a gay man, who like me, had a history of mental distress and was also an adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. He described himself as being Germaine Greer's number one fan.
I, had never heard of Germaine Greer, but years later, during a manic 'high', I remembered this gay man and decided to purchase, from the 'Silver Moon' section of Foyles bookshop:
'Germaine Greer, Untamed Shrew' by Christine Wallace.
Germaine Greer, The Whole Woman.
The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer.
And at a later date, I also purchased, 'Whitefella Jump Up' The shortest way to nationhood, also written by Germaine Greer. However, due to a series of hospital re-admissions, which resulted in my high exposure to 'Stella', I was unable to concentrate well enough to read. I then lost my interest to read Germaine Greer's work, and her books have remained unread on my bookshelf.
I confess to being a regular reader of 'My Life Divine,' which is a Devotion shop weblog, written by Carolyn Cowan, who is amongst other things, a 48 year old experienced and widely travelled, retailer, bodypainter, photogragher, yoga teacher, recovering addict/alcoholic of 17 years, an adult survivor of child sexual abuse and a happily married heterosexual mother of two young children.
However after reading the weblog 'Exhausted with Germaine Greer' posted by Carolyn Cowan, on 19th August 2008, whilst on holiday in Southern France, and seated in the bosom of her family. I have laughed so much, that it has also renewed my interest in Germaine Greer.
I, had never heard of Germaine Greer, but years later, during a manic 'high', I remembered this gay man and decided to purchase, from the 'Silver Moon' section of Foyles bookshop:
'Germaine Greer, Untamed Shrew' by Christine Wallace.
Germaine Greer, The Whole Woman.
The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer.
And at a later date, I also purchased, 'Whitefella Jump Up' The shortest way to nationhood, also written by Germaine Greer. However, due to a series of hospital re-admissions, which resulted in my high exposure to 'Stella', I was unable to concentrate well enough to read. I then lost my interest to read Germaine Greer's work, and her books have remained unread on my bookshelf.
I confess to being a regular reader of 'My Life Divine,' which is a Devotion shop weblog, written by Carolyn Cowan, who is amongst other things, a 48 year old experienced and widely travelled, retailer, bodypainter, photogragher, yoga teacher, recovering addict/alcoholic of 17 years, an adult survivor of child sexual abuse and a happily married heterosexual mother of two young children.
However after reading the weblog 'Exhausted with Germaine Greer' posted by Carolyn Cowan, on 19th August 2008, whilst on holiday in Southern France, and seated in the bosom of her family. I have laughed so much, that it has also renewed my interest in Germaine Greer.
Tuesday 9 September 2008
A Mother By Proxy.
Sadly and regrettably, one long term consequence of my mental illness, is that my son no longer resides with me. He lives a five minute walk away from my abode, and I have contact with him each week.
Monday 8 September 2008
What Does A Lesbian Look Like?
Would I know what I am looking for?
After all, could she really only look like the character 'Beebo Brinker,' from Ann Bannon's classic 1950s stories? Or 'Stephen Gordon' the Radclyffe Hall character from the book 'The Well Of Loneliness.'
Can I only 'get my head around' the lesbian film 'Do I love you' directed by Lisa Gornick, but not films like 'Kissing Jessica Stein', 'Thin Ice' directed by Fiona Cunningham Reid or 'Fire' directed by Deepa Mehta?
Would I pass someone like Samantha Fox, in the street, and say that she is too 'feminine' to be a lesbian? Or perhaps, dismiss Eleanor Roosevelt just because she happened to be married? Could I be the sort of person that would refuse to believe that a black woman who has given birth to children, such as Audre Lorde would be a lesbian? Or that a woman with Betty Berzon's history would ever be a lesbian?
Am I so closed minded in fact, that only the Martina Navratilova and Ellen DeGeneres of this world can be detected by my 'gay' radar? I hope not.
Whilst I personally view the lesbian writer of lesbian fiction, Karin Kallmaker, as one of my many role models. I don't know what she looks like. However, when considering the conundrum of what lesbians look like, the lesbian characters in Karin Kallmaker's books, (I started with 'Wild Things') produce food for thought.
After all, could she really only look like the character 'Beebo Brinker,' from Ann Bannon's classic 1950s stories? Or 'Stephen Gordon' the Radclyffe Hall character from the book 'The Well Of Loneliness.'
Can I only 'get my head around' the lesbian film 'Do I love you' directed by Lisa Gornick, but not films like 'Kissing Jessica Stein', 'Thin Ice' directed by Fiona Cunningham Reid or 'Fire' directed by Deepa Mehta?
Would I pass someone like Samantha Fox, in the street, and say that she is too 'feminine' to be a lesbian? Or perhaps, dismiss Eleanor Roosevelt just because she happened to be married? Could I be the sort of person that would refuse to believe that a black woman who has given birth to children, such as Audre Lorde would be a lesbian? Or that a woman with Betty Berzon's history would ever be a lesbian?
Am I so closed minded in fact, that only the Martina Navratilova and Ellen DeGeneres of this world can be detected by my 'gay' radar? I hope not.
Whilst I personally view the lesbian writer of lesbian fiction, Karin Kallmaker, as one of my many role models. I don't know what she looks like. However, when considering the conundrum of what lesbians look like, the lesbian characters in Karin Kallmaker's books, (I started with 'Wild Things') produce food for thought.
Sunday 7 September 2008
NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO.
Today when my alarm clock woke me at 5.30am, I reached for and read, as usual, 'Amazon Spirit' daily meditations for lesbians in recovery by Eleanor Nealy, 'Glad Day' daily meditations for Gay, Lesbians, Bisexual & Transgender people by Joan Larkin, 'For Today & Tomorrow' daily encouragement by Daisaku Ikeda, 'Buddhism Day By Day' wisdom for modern life by Daisaku Ikeda, 'Daily Wisdom' from the writings of Nichiren Daishonin and today's reading from the 2008 calendar of 'The Secret' by Ronda Byrne.
I made a decision not to go swimming this morning. I chose instead to select the book 'Life After Darkness' a doctor's j0urney through severe depression by Cathy Wield, to read in bed, as I had regrettably finished reading James Redfield's, spiritually uplifting, 'Celestine Prophecy' last night.
By 10.30am, I was seated in my local Friends House, Quaker meeting. I first started to regularly attend this particular meeting with my son, when he was seven weeks old. After the meeting, I stayed for a herbal tea, and a chat. Then I made my way to a Buddhist meeting, where I chanted. Today a gohonzon presentation ceremony took place.
I made a decision not to go swimming this morning. I chose instead to select the book 'Life After Darkness' a doctor's j0urney through severe depression by Cathy Wield, to read in bed, as I had regrettably finished reading James Redfield's, spiritually uplifting, 'Celestine Prophecy' last night.
By 10.30am, I was seated in my local Friends House, Quaker meeting. I first started to regularly attend this particular meeting with my son, when he was seven weeks old. After the meeting, I stayed for a herbal tea, and a chat. Then I made my way to a Buddhist meeting, where I chanted. Today a gohonzon presentation ceremony took place.
Saturday 6 September 2008
I Won't Be Here Tomorrow - Everyday.
Are words that were uttered to me, one night within this last week, just as I was drifting into a peaceful sleep. So, since then, and one day at a time, I have now decided to increase my meaningful activities. Hence, my visit today to The National Gallery in Trafalgar Square. I viewed the exhibition of 'Radical Light' - Italy's Divisionist Painters 1891-1910. I was not disappointed.
I have zero talent as a painter. If required to draw a straight line, I will, without fail, produce something curved. And vice versa. But, I find that this does not seem to stop me from enjoying art.
Today I also had a telephone conversation, with my nine year son. He is a prolific artist. His talent has been assisted and developed in the main by his Rudolf Steiner education. Although understandably, at this moment in time, his focus seems to mainly be aimed at ships and aircrafts.
I have zero talent as a painter. If required to draw a straight line, I will, without fail, produce something curved. And vice versa. But, I find that this does not seem to stop me from enjoying art.
Today I also had a telephone conversation, with my nine year son. He is a prolific artist. His talent has been assisted and developed in the main by his Rudolf Steiner education. Although understandably, at this moment in time, his focus seems to mainly be aimed at ships and aircrafts.
Friday 5 September 2008
The Sound of Silence.
My last few colleagues have departed for home, and I am comfortably seated here at my desk. The office silence is broken, only by the sound of me typing on my computer keyboard.
My relationship with silence has changed and developed over the course of my lifetime. During childhood, I was much like any other child. Crying, laughing, talking, singing, shouting and playing. Then I started to play the guitar and experimented with percussions, before learning to play the drums and playing in bands. My world was mainly filled with sound. My experience with silence was surprisingly limited.
I am however now a voice hearer. This has changed my relationship with silence. These days I usually hear voices just prior to falling asleep. But if I fall asleep listening to my station docked ipod, even though it is only on a very low volume, I don't usually hear the voices.
When I first became a voice hearer fifteen years ago, initially, hearing voices startled me. I felt uncomfortable hearing voices and would try to drown them out with loud music or television. I would be afraid to be left on my own, and would listen to my 'Walkmans' wherever I went. But slowly over a period of time, I have grow so used to hearing voices that they have become companions, and I would miss them, if I did not hear them. Besides, it doesn't seem to matter what dose of medication I take, the voices are not silenced.
I first gradually came to feel comfortable with the voices, and learnt to appreciate the beauty of silence, during my attendence at Quaker meetings.
My relationship with silence has changed and developed over the course of my lifetime. During childhood, I was much like any other child. Crying, laughing, talking, singing, shouting and playing. Then I started to play the guitar and experimented with percussions, before learning to play the drums and playing in bands. My world was mainly filled with sound. My experience with silence was surprisingly limited.
I am however now a voice hearer. This has changed my relationship with silence. These days I usually hear voices just prior to falling asleep. But if I fall asleep listening to my station docked ipod, even though it is only on a very low volume, I don't usually hear the voices.
When I first became a voice hearer fifteen years ago, initially, hearing voices startled me. I felt uncomfortable hearing voices and would try to drown them out with loud music or television. I would be afraid to be left on my own, and would listen to my 'Walkmans' wherever I went. But slowly over a period of time, I have grow so used to hearing voices that they have become companions, and I would miss them, if I did not hear them. Besides, it doesn't seem to matter what dose of medication I take, the voices are not silenced.
I first gradually came to feel comfortable with the voices, and learnt to appreciate the beauty of silence, during my attendence at Quaker meetings.
Thursday 4 September 2008
I Can Resist Every Except Temptation.
And I have indeed been so tempted, by Matthew Bourne's latest dance theatre of Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray at Sadler's Wells, that I have purchased a ticket, for the 11.30pm, Thursday 11th September 2008, special late night performance, in aid of the Terrence Higgins Trust (T.H.T). I can hardly wait.
Wednesday 3 September 2008
When the student is ready the teacher will appear
is a quote that comes to mind, as I read 'The Celestine Prophecy' An adventure by James Redfield. I am currently on page 116 and find it to be an irresistable page turner. Yet, I took my time before committing to read the first page. Funny that.
Tuesday 2 September 2008
A Psychiatrist's Chair with Dr Kitty.
At 10am, this morning, I was seated in a room with my psychiatrist, and my social worker, who is also my Care Coordinator. This appointment had been arranged a few months ago, during my last CPA (Care Programme Approach), when my daily nightly dose of Stelazine ('Stella' for short), anti-psychotic medication was reduced from 6mgs to 4mgs.
Today, after initially enquiring how I was getting on generally, my psychiatrist specifically asked me how my reduction in medication had affected me since my last appointment with her. She then discussed with me, amongst other things, the results of the blood tests that she had also asked me to take, when we last met, after I had mentioned a variety of side effects that I had attributed to 'Stella'. The results of my blood tests are normal.
During today's client centred discussion. I was given the choice about if, and how I would like my medication to be decreased. I was also given a choice about whether I would prefer to be changed to a Standard CPA or remain on the Enhanced CPA for a bit longer. Last but not least, I have been given the time to ponder my choices, before I make a decision. Naturally, me being me, I could not wait for another decrease in my medication. So, from tonight, I will start taking 2mgs of 'Stella'. It seemed like such a far cry from the start of my fifteen year personal journey within the psychiatric system.
Today, after initially enquiring how I was getting on generally, my psychiatrist specifically asked me how my reduction in medication had affected me since my last appointment with her. She then discussed with me, amongst other things, the results of the blood tests that she had also asked me to take, when we last met, after I had mentioned a variety of side effects that I had attributed to 'Stella'. The results of my blood tests are normal.
During today's client centred discussion. I was given the choice about if, and how I would like my medication to be decreased. I was also given a choice about whether I would prefer to be changed to a Standard CPA or remain on the Enhanced CPA for a bit longer. Last but not least, I have been given the time to ponder my choices, before I make a decision. Naturally, me being me, I could not wait for another decrease in my medication. So, from tonight, I will start taking 2mgs of 'Stella'. It seemed like such a far cry from the start of my fifteen year personal journey within the psychiatric system.
RADAR the disability network
has recently come to my attention as, in November 2008, they are going to be facilitating 'Leadership Development Days' to equip and inspire leaders. Uncertain though I am, as to whether I am really the type of person they have in mind, I have, with assistance, completed the five questions required and forwarded them. The location for the 'developement day' that I have chosen is Glasgow. I have never been there before. However, years ago, I was a drummer in a Women's band, and stayed in Edinburgh for a week. This was for the Edinburgh Festival. We lodged in Scotland St, and gigged each night near the castle. I loved it!
Monday 1 September 2008
My Fifteen years of Marriage to 'Stella'
has been volatile and tempestuous. We are both to blame for this, although I take full responsibility for being the one who rejects 'her' each and every time. And yet still, after all this time together, I confess that I can only feel comfortable with 'her' in small doses. When I first encountered her in 1993, 'she' was a kind of 'blind date' whom I felt completely overwhelmed by in large doses. From the word go, it was a love hate relationship. 'She loved me, but I hated 'her'. I have tried and failed to divorce her many times, as I can't live with 'her' and yet I can't seem to live without 'her'.
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