My last few colleagues have departed for home, and I am comfortably seated here at my desk. The office silence is broken, only by the sound of me typing on my computer keyboard.
My relationship with silence has changed and developed over the course of my lifetime. During childhood, I was much like any other child. Crying, laughing, talking, singing, shouting and playing. Then I started to play the guitar and experimented with percussions, before learning to play the drums and playing in bands. My world was mainly filled with sound. My experience with silence was surprisingly limited.
I am however now a voice hearer. This has changed my relationship with silence. These days I usually hear voices just prior to falling asleep. But if I fall asleep listening to my station docked ipod, even though it is only on a very low volume, I don't usually hear the voices.
When I first became a voice hearer fifteen years ago, initially, hearing voices startled me. I felt uncomfortable hearing voices and would try to drown them out with loud music or television. I would be afraid to be left on my own, and would listen to my 'Walkmans' wherever I went. But slowly over a period of time, I have grow so used to hearing voices that they have become companions, and I would miss them, if I did not hear them. Besides, it doesn't seem to matter what dose of medication I take, the voices are not silenced.
I first gradually came to feel comfortable with the voices, and learnt to appreciate the beauty of silence, during my attendence at Quaker meetings.
Friday, 5 September 2008
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wow..Yvonne, Yvonne....i am so in awe of how far you have come and this blog really gives me a better insight in to who you are...i always knew you were a wonderful, kind, patient and self less person...with so much to offer the world...but now, i feel just that bit more closer to you and am blessed and grateful you have let me into your 'world' that little bit more ...thank you for everything you have done for me and for the endless amounts of your time you have given to help me in my own road of mental illness....forever grateful,lots of love, your friend Jess xxxxx
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