Leaving Abusive Partners.

The Queer Youth Alliance - The UK Alliance of LGBT Young People - is a national organisation providing advice, information and support for young LGBT people: www.queeryouth.org.uk

Polari - works for better services for older lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender (LGBT) people: www.casweb.org/polari

FFLAG (Families and friends of lesbians and gays) is an organisation of parents of lesbian daughters and gay sons which seeks to promote the well-being of lesbian, gay and bisexual people, their families and friends: www.fflag.org.uk

Broken Rainbow - is a UK wide helpline service, run by LGBT people for LGBT people experiencing domestic violence; and their families and friends, or professionals. It is a confidential listening, information and signposting service: www.broken-rainbow.org.uk

There are sayings that go 'never say never' and, 'there is always a first time.' I don't know if any of them are true, but for the first time experiences that I have had, especially after saying "never," many have been outstandingly pleasant. But, there are others which I have found nauseating.

One such baptism of fire, started during 1989, when I was 27 years old, and lasted approximately two years. I was in a non-platonic relationship with an older woman, which seemed to have started okay, but gradually deteriorated and became destructive and abusive. This dysfunctional relationship was made worse, because although I was in full-time paid employment, I had been homeless - this had initially started due to my leaving tied accomodation- and was living with her.

Although I had been 'out' as a lesbian to my family for at least a year, and in my workplace for three years, I found it extremely hard to talk about my situation. There is another saying which I have learnt within the last almost three years, that goes 'you're as sick as your secrets.' And I was, because the abuse that I was experiencing for the first time as an adult, then seemed to resurrect my child sexual and physical abuse experiences. Which further silenced me. I experienced deep trauma, and reverted to my childhood survival strategies.

Fortunately for me, although 'Broken-Rainbow' didn't exist at that time. I was able to go to a Women's Centre based in West Hampstead, where I obtained the book 'Leaving Abusive Partners' by Catherine Kirkwood.